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User blog:Manofgod/Comic Battle: John Constantine vs Jack Horner
Its the battle between the prep master tricksters!! John Constantine, the Hellblazer occult magician and con man from Hellblazer! vs Jack Horner, Fable trickster and money scamming artist from Fables! Both are two of the most famous con man who has tricked Devils like its tuesday. Both are blonde, both are assholes, and both are 4th wall-breaking anti-heroes here to do battle, comic book STYLE! WHO IS DEADLIEST?? John Constantine John Constantine was born in Liverpool but has spent most of his life growing up in London, from the sixties onward. He first left his father's house to live in a London squat aged fifteen. He is a natural born thrill seeker with hints of morality. Despite living in England for most of his childhood, Constantine has moved around the world on several occasions, following occult and mysticism all across the planet. He was born a twin, which he happened to strangle in the womb. His mother died in labour and his father blamed John for the death of his mother and that was the root of the friction between them. When not running away from home, Constantine was raised by his older sister Cheryl Masters. Constantine is a chain smoker and has been from the very start of his character's introduction, his brand of choice is Silk Cut, though he has been seen smoking Marlboro or Camel’s from time to time, presumably when out of the country or when Silk Cut are unavailable. Despite being a chain smoker himself, Constantine does not take any other drugs, and once called his friend a “Dirty lowlife bastard” when he found a needle with a nondescript drug in it. John eventually moved in with roommate Chas Chandler, the two became best friends. Around this time John began following occult circles around London, and eventually became the magic using, demon tricking con artist he is today. Powers and Abilities Most of Constantine's powers come from his assortment use of magic. Examples of John Constantine magic include: * Cursing: John can put a curse on his enemies, some relatively harmless, while others are dangerous. Like the time where he cursed a bunch of cold inmates into a catatonic state. Or making his father wither and waste away. His curses are strong enough to affect demons. * Spells: John knows a variety of spells he can use to get him out of tight situations. He has spells that can seal or destroy demons, elementals, gods and other magical creatures. * Spirit Ward Creation: Use sigils to make him undetectable by supernatural means, and sigils that he can use to ward off demons and other supernatural creatures. * Magic circles: Powerful defensive circles which he writes in a wall or the floor that protects him both from supernatural attacks. * Realm travel: Constantine can open portals to places like Heaven, Hell, Limbo, or the Green. Constantine can even open a portal through time that allows him to time travel. He can also send his enemies to Hell. * Evocation: John can summon ghosts, the undead, or demons. He can summon soulstorms or a flock of crows to attack his foes. * Illusions: Conjure illusions to trick and confuse his opponents. * Mind Control: Constantine's mind magic involves hypnotism, occlumency, and brainwashing. Like erasing someone's memories, or like when he brainwashed a whole maximum state prison to riot just for them to bring him a ciggarette. * Invisibility: Using magic to make him invisible and undetectable. * Stage Magic Skills: John is exhibited considerable mastery in stage magic like slight of hand, pickpocketing, hypnotism, and escapology. * Sychronicity Wave Travelling: A natural born magic in every Laughing Magician. It allows John to make his own luck, protect him from danger and harm and track down people. Weapons * Trenchcoat: John's trenchcoat protects him and is durable enough to withstand his battles. It is also sentient and contains its own demonic powers, and can perform tasks like strangling people, mind controlling its victims to become violent, and cursing those who wore it aside from Constantine and his friends. * Magical Knife: Weapon laced with magic that he use to kill demons. * Demon blood: Blood transfused to his veins by the demon god Nergal. Demon blood has healing properties that John can use. It is dangerous when consumed by the victim as it is highly poisonous and corrosive dangerous even to supernatural creatures such as the King of the Vampires. Feats * Outwitted the Devil (First of the Fallen) multiple times. * Fought and bested minor gods such as the Rainbow Serpent, Kali, Mictlantecuhtli, the Three Fates, Jallakuntilliokan and of course Nergal. * Manage to threaten and blackmail the Judeo-Christian God into saving his soul. * Defeated the Beast of the Bible. * Manage to be surprise both Batman and Superman. Jack Horner Jack Horner, also known as the Jack of Tales or popularly as the legendary Jack of Fables is a major character in the Fables comic book series and The Wolf Among Us video game adaptation. He is the Literal personification of all tricksters in fiction. The character is based on various nursery rhymes and fables with characters named Jack including Little Jack Horner, Jack and the Beanstalk, Jack and Jill, Jack Be Nimble, Jack Frost, Jack O'Lantern, and Jack the Giant Killer and others As a con artist, he is always looking for quick ways to make a buck. However, Jack also displays a complete disregard for human life or the feelings of those around him, traits most often seen in those with sociopathy. Despite his scheming and reckless personality, he is a devoted foe of the Adversary and a capable combatant in his own right, due to his years of experience fighting giants. He can also have true feelings for others (he asks Beast about Snow White and her cubs, he mourns his wife's death and he considered putting his own safety at risk to protect Gary when the Librarians had captured them and were having a car accident). In the series, Jack creates a film trilogy of his adventures to increase his popularity in the Mundy world making him "nigh-immortal". In his devoted spin-off series "Jack Of Fables", his nigh-immortality seems to be reinforced by other causes as well : he is the son of a literal woman and one of the most popular male Fables (making him a "part-Literal", which is equivalent to a demigod), and he has made countless deals with many devils during his Jack O' Lantern days. Jack is often presented as believing himself to be far smarter than he truly is and for a man who has lived a long time, has little regard for history (at one point, he compares himself to Sam Bowie and Hector and how "like them, I will be victorious."). The common thread is how Jack honestly believes he is the most important person around and only his needs and desires matter. Powers and Abilities As one of the most famous Fables around (a feat he earned by making films about himself), he has been gifted with powers that Fables have and then some. * Healing Factor: While Jack Horner is made out of flesh and bone and can be wounded like anyone else, his nature as one of the most popular story book character around gives him invulnerability in the form of a powerful healing factor. Almost nothing from physical to magical attacks can kill him, and he can heal from any wounds such as being shot multiple times, stabbed in his vital organs, and even being frozen in ice. He has survived a beating from Bigby Wolf, getting mauled by a Yokai, getting eaten by Godzilla and even being frozen by his son Jack Frost. * Superhuman Physicality: Besides durability, Jack Horner is also gifted with superhuman strength and speed. He can lift quite a ton and punch harder than any normal human(he can send grown men flying with a punch or a swipe of his arm). He is pretty fast too, once managing to draw and shoot Bigby Wolf multiple times during their first meeting. * Immortality: Due to his popularity as a character, he is virtually immortal. * Swordsmanship: Jack knows how to use a sword during his time as a giant-slayer and in the Civil War. * Marksmanship: Jack is a superb marksman during his time as an Old West gunslinger. He is very accurate with pistols and fast on the draw. * Reality-Bending Powers: As a half-literal being (basically a demigod in the Fable Universe), Jack has inherited some form of ability to warp reality. At first he had no knowledge and control over it, with Jack Horner seeing its effects but just letting it do what it does as he goes on with his adventures, which sometimes helps him and sometimes causes him problems. Examples of these include the time Jack Horner distorted Mr. Revise's own powerful magic, the time he created a suitcase that can store unlimited amounts of object, or that time he became a fire breathing winged dragon. By the end of the series, he has gotten control over his powers, even managing to resurrect and call forth the godlike Gary the Pathetic Fallacy, who can create things out of nothing and breath life to objects. ** Dragon Form: Jack's dragon form consist of a large four-legged lizard with horns and skin that can block bullets. He also has wings and can breath fire, but his main forms of attack is his claws and jaws lined with teeth. The dragon also has limited form of precognition that allows Jack to prepare for enemies that would be coming after him. Weapons * Colt Revolver and Cavalry Saber: Weapons that he used during his Civil War and Wild West days. * Other firearms: Jack has used several firearms in his lifetime from semi-automatic pistols, shotgun to even dual-weilded tommy guns. Feats * Outwitted not one, but multiple versions of the Devil across all mythology in his lifetime from Nick Slick, Chernabog, Pan, Lucifer etc. * Once trapped and captured the Grim Reaper himself. * Outwitted Lady Luck at her prime, a Fable who can basically control luck. * Defeated Mr. Revise and the Bookburner, two powerful godlike beings called Literals who have basically the power to shape reality. X-Factors Cunning These two are some of the greatest con man in comics history, having outwitted gods like they were nothing. Constantine has been noted to have an IQ while Horner is known as a trickster in the Fable Community. Using the feats above, it is up to you who you think is smart. Fighting Constantine is a capable fighter who’s physical prowess vaires from writer to writer. Most if the time he relies more on his wits and tend to get his ass kicked by better fighters with martial history. Horner may not be the best fighter in Fables, but he’s capable of taking care of himself even when he is outnumbered, like that time he fought three Wooden soldiers and won. Brutality Both are assholes, but while Constantine is happy to sacrifice anyone for the greater good, he has a heart. Horner on the other hand is a sociopath who has little to no care against anyone besides him and Gary. He even had a brief stint as a mass murdering Jack Frost and gunslinger Jack Horner. Notes * Battle takes place in an unnamed city. * Both warriors have some knowledge of each other and are given a week of prep. * I am strictly using the Vertigo version of each warrior. Battle It was a cold windy night in the Western side of New Jersey. Its various citizens were asleep and no cars can be seen driving around. But in one small street in the apartments district on each of its opposite sides, stood two blonde handsome looking men. One was wearing a trenchcoat and smoking cigar while the other wore a white t-shirt and denim vest. It was the infamous magician John Constantine and the Fable rogue Jack Horner. "So.. this is it huh?" John said to Jack. "Ready to get your arse kick, you sack of shit." "Whatever man," Jack said. "I dunno how much Fabletown or the Golden Boughs paid you. But you ain't laying a finger on me." Both men sized each other up. Being smart people, they've made their own homework of each's identity and background. Both John and Jack knew how dangerous their opponents were and have made the appropriate preparations for this battle. John Constantine made the first move. "Here mate, catch!" he said before throwing his trencho coat at Horner. The trench coat suddenly became alive and wrapped itself tightly around Jack Horner, gripping and suffocating him violently. John then made an incantation and a magic circle appear on Jack Horner's feet. "Fiat bloody LUX!" John said before Jack Horner got engulfed in an explosion. But before John can celebrate, his trench coat returns to him, and out came Jack Horner, smoking but still alive. "Hah! Is that all you got you limey," Jack said. "My turn." Without any delay Jack rushed towards John and tackled him to a wall. He then started pummeling John in the ribs, sending powerful hooks with his superhuman strength. John violently coughs up some blood, befor summoning a swarm of crows to push Jack away. With his hands on his broken ribs, John opened a bottle which summoned a djinn. "Eat him," John said. The djinn summoned several dark shadowy tendrils which attacked Jack. One tendril grabbed Jack in his leg and started smashing him in the street. It smashed him on the asphalt road, on a car and a lamp post. "Dammit, get off!" Jack said before grabbing his cavalry sword and slicing the tendril off. He then drew his revolver and fired at the djinn but the bullets just bounced off of it. The djinn sent out another tendril which pierced Jack's shoulder. Yelling in pain, Horner grabbed a lamp post using his superhuman strength and strike at the djinn, which sent it flying over an apartment building. Jack then used his reality warping power to summon the Literal Gary, the Pathetic Fallacy. "Anything I can do for ya? Jack?" Gary said. "You look hurt, who did this to you! Imma give him a piece of my mind!" "More like give him a piece of your power," Jack said. "Use your powers to get rid of that building, and anything and anyone inside of it!" With a wink, Gary turned the building into a living monster which smashed itself into bits. The djinn trapped inside was badly damaged as well, putting it out of action. Jack then ordered the building monster to attack John Constantine. "Oh no you don't," John said. And with his hands, he summoned a magic circle which trapped both the building monster and Gary the Pathetic Fallacy into it, sealing them both for good. "Gary! Nooooo!" Jack said before running towards John and slashing him with his cavalry saber. John managed to dodge and grabbed his magical knife. He parried a thrust and an overhand strike from Horner, but the latter kicked him in the stomach that put him on the ground. With two hands, Jack slashes at John, ready to decapitate him, but John suddenly disappears. Jack couldn't believe his eyes that he fell for an illusion. "Funny that a wanker like you was too dumb to see that," John said. "Unfortunately I've grew bored with this shite we've doing. I think its time I get rid of you now." With his hands clenched, John summons a portal which sucks Jack Horner in. It sent him... straight to Hell! Sighing in relief, John started walking away saying, "Think Imma get me some cuppa. Bollocks, was that a big waste of me bloody time." But before he can go far, another portal suddenly opened fro the ground and out came Jack, now in the form of a larged winged dragon, together with a legion of demons, ghouls and monsters. John Constantine was visible and utterly surprised. "Putting me to Hell was a bad idea you fucking buffoon," Jack said. "I've gotten out of many Hells already and this one's no different. But it seems, Conjob, that you have alot of friends there as well. I've made a deal with them that if they let me out, I'll help them take you down." John backed off for a minute as several minions of Hell, with eagerness and hunger in their eyes, slowly crept towards him. John regained his exposure and yelled at the demons, "You fuckin' idiots! Ain't you all smartarses and geniuses. You think siding with that creep was a good idea? Go on! Come at me then! But fully know that if you kill me before anyone else, both God and Satan are going to rip you all to shreds. You know my reputation! You know what kind of deals I've made with other big named wankers..." And with that warning, all the demons fled back to the portal in fear. "Damn," Jack said. "That's one hell of a badass boast. But I guess the only person I can rely on is myself." In his dragon form, Jack charges at John, spewing fire at the British magician. John summoned a protective spell to block out the fire. The two were evenly match, and John knew that in order to win, he now had to pull out the remaining tricks up in his sleeve. He puts a powerful curse, the same one he used on the Empathy Demon, on Jack. But the curse it seems managed to put Jack back on his current form. Both were tired and bruised, but Jack wasn't yet ready to give up. "You think this is over you punk! You've put me into a homicidal mood right now!" 'Wait," John said. And then out of nowhere a woman's voice called upon Jack Horner. The blonde Fable recognized that voice, someone he used to know from Fabletown. "Jack? Is that you? Its me. Its Rose Red." "Rose?! What, why?" "I heard you were here so I came by. Oh why is it that wherever you go, trouble always followed you?" Jack eyes widened as he could not believe what was happening. " Why do you care anyways! Go away I am busy!" Jack yelled. "But Jack... listen to me," Rose Red said. "I came here to tell you... that I still love you. Please come back to me." Jack was left speechless by this. John Constantine then approached Jack and whispers in his ear. "Actually she doesn't. This morning I called her on the phone and I just played with her mind is all to make her fall in love with you again. I went inside her head and ripped every bad memory she had on you, and mind controlled her to get in here. It didn't take long before she eventually falls in love with you again." "What are you playing here, you creep," Jack said obviously disgusted. John then looked him in the eye and said. "Listen, I just want to get rid of you. I don't want to kill you or anything like that, and I seriously didn't want to bloody myself as well. I'm giving you the chance now. Spare me legs mate, and you can walk off with her. You don't have to worry about anythin' cause the spell I used on her lasts forever." Jack stared at him with doubt and eyebrows raised. After thinking about it for several seconds, a grin slowly appeared on Jack's face. "Well played, asshole," he said. Before grabbing some new clothes from a smashed thrift shop and walking away with Rose Red. John tired and with aching legs and ribs, rested his butt on the sidewalk for awhile and lights a new Silk Cut. Expert's Opinion John and Jack were both smart and carried an arsenal of very useful magic. While John was smarter and had better plans, Jack was deemed to be more durable, resilient and physically superior. In the end, both had equal strengths and weaknesses that the battle ended up in a tie. Notes * Battle takes place in an unnamed city * Both warriors have some knowledge of each other and are given a week of prep. * I am strictly using the Vertigo version of each warrior. Constantine from Hellblazer and Horner from Fables and Jack of Fables. * I made this battle due to the number of horrible inaccurate portrayal of both these badass characters in this wiki (looking at you Bulls12345 and Elgb333). Hopefully this battle will give them justice. Category:Blog posts